


Jokes aside

by Bubble_Dreamer



Series: Hellish Afterlife [3]
Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: Blood and Violence, F/M, Past Sexual Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:08:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27336169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bubble_Dreamer/pseuds/Bubble_Dreamer
Summary: You were welcomed in Hazbin Hotel with open arms, but not everyone is as thrilled of your presence as your lovely princess of Hell is. But can you really prove your worth and good intentions? Time will show.
Relationships: Alastor (Hazbin Hotel) & Reader, Alastor (Hazbin Hotel)/Reader, Valentino (Hazbin Hotel)/Reader
Series: Hellish Afterlife [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1930402
Comments: 4
Kudos: 56





	Jokes aside

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Hello, next part of the series showing how reader copes in unfamiliar territory, being constantly challenged by our lovely moth bodyguard :) also some serious talks and dealmaking is in order. It takes place directly after 'Liberative Adolescence" but then skips a few weeks in the future :) I packed one flashback in here as well so I really hope it won't be too overwhelming :D Have fun!  
> Y/N - your name

“So~… this is your room. Quite regal I’d say…” you complimented at the sight of the room you were currently in. After your reunion in hotel lobby you got acquainted with everyone at the delicious breakfast that Alastor prepared. Then you talked with Charlie about hotel and its purpose and then you were allowed to spend some time with your husband who whined about lack of privacy the whole afternoon. “But what happened to your little Louisiana cottage? Hmm?” you asked curiously. 

“Oh you mean our home? Darling it is safe and sound yet you spent so much time in your clinic and then we decided to have a little break from each other that it got boring enough for me to dwell there alone~ so when Charlie, dear, proposed me one of her apartments here in hotel I took the opportunity…” he explained overdramatically as usual “I do believe she would give you one especially for you, our little princess if way too generous for her own good~… haha” he jested slightly playing that record of laughing audience in the background. 

“Yes, that she is…”

“Unless you want to move in with me! I’d tell our gracious manager that the second room would not be needed!” 

“Refrain yourself for the time being, you know that I need a buffer space. You are way too overwhelming for the long run…” you cut in before he managed to get too ahead. 

“Oh, you wound me so!” 

“Of course I do…” your response was light, holding slight vibe of humor behind. You wandered the room, observing details , smiling at certain ones that you knew were Alastor’s touch. “So… what is your job here exactly?” 

“Oh I am a cofounder of the place! Which makes me second in charge, just after our princess!” that surprised you to say at least. 

“Really? And how are you planning to use that… advantage?” 

“I have some various ideas already…”

“None of them good I presume…”

“Oh Darling, you always accuse me of the worst evil! You cruel demoness!” 

“Aren’t you evil?” you sat down on the couch that Alastor set in his room close to huge bookcase and fireplace. His room, that was actually the whole apartment unit. “You do enjoy torment of others.” 

“That I do.” He started to approach you slowly. 

“You even admit it openly… so proud…” you shook your head in slight disbelief. But that didn’t stop him. 

“I am proud of who I am, darling… Also I do believe you will be the first to experience my evilness, sweetheart… You deserve a harsh punishment…” that took you aback. His posture changed into more threatening one. You really shouldn’t be surprised, Alastor was known to be the one acting on a whim, from 0 to 100 without warning. 

“Pardon?...” you just didn’t know what he meant at all. 

“Oh, don’t play innocent doe, especially after avoiding me for such a long time…” he complained like a spoiled child. You immediately knew he meant your deal to keep you both sane. The deal he agreed on without usage of magic. 

“That was the case… to take a break from each other for a few years…” you opposed. 

“You didn’t even call!” that you didn’t expect. 

“You do not possess cell phone!” 

“Ridiculous! I do have perfectly working candlestick phone, you know that!” 

“But you have to be at home to receive a call, Al! And you are always out! Also it is always out of range.” Not that you tried to call him in the first place. “I got you a cell phone once and you refused to use that. So it is all your own fault.” 

“It is easily broken and difficult to use!” he opposed stubbornly and you massaged your temples.. 

“You crushed it in your grip on purpose. I do have claws as well and I never accidentally did that with mine.” 

“Nevertheless, punishment is in order!” he declared and attacked you, not giving a chance to escape. Pinning you to the couch he started to tickle you mercilessly. He knew you hated that. It was probably the only one torture method that could get you to talk. 

“Al, stop!” you laughed semi-serious but his tickling got only more vicious as his clawed hands started to go lower and lower until he crossed a line that even you were unaware of yourself. All humor evaporated and you acted on instinct, within seconds and a few movements of your body, you both froze. 

You were glaring up at him with distressed frown as he froze above you. His curious hands motionless, resting on your tights. Your wings moved without your thought and your feathers, sharp as blades, surrounded his neck from each angle possible, so he simply couldn’t move. 

„The last time a man had his hands there he ended up dead…” you murmured and looked at him warily “And I’m not talking about you…” you added scornfully. Bad memories flood your mind and you felt like being defensive. 

“Another….man…?” he echoed looking at you in disbelief. He however didn’t deny your implication that his hands could have been there before as well. “Darling, I’ve never asked you that before but.. did you _remarry_ by any chance….?” He asked calmly but in his voice there was a hint of anger. Your eyes widened at him. 

“What? Good gracious, NO! And even if… you were dead!” you defended yourself. “I was a widow for 10 years I could remarry just fine!… I was surrounded by many hellishly handsome soldiers, some even tried their luck… But I didn’t…” you felt as your eyes fell down unable to look at him in shame. None of that soldiers was _him._ “That man allowed himself too much of a freedom to touch me and I… killed him. That one I actually, _actively killed…_ ” you own up and again looked aside in shame. You didn’t want him to know that you were capable of coldhearted murder during your life because that would only prove him right. That was the last thing you wanted to experience right now, his mocking laughter and telling you ‘I told you so’…

“Did he attempt to… abuse you?” he asked instead and that rendered you speechless. You merely nodded in reply and you felt as the static in the air lifted up a notch making the atmosphere uncomfortable to your ears. “How did you kill him?” 

“I don’t want to talk about it… leave me alone…” you said weakly. 

“Darling, I am curious beyond any belief now, did you delivered him painful death?” 

“Back off and I may humor you…” you nearly gave up. 

“Gladly, my love, yet I found myself slightly at impasse, you know~?” he asked knowingly and you realized that you still didn’t lowered your wings, still caging him so close to you.. You did that slowly, relaxing as you felt him straightening, making more room between you two. He sat on the couch and looked back at you, waiting. You also let yourself to sit up properly and you hiked up your legs, embracing them with your arms. You looked back at Alastor who seemed to quiet his static sound waiting for your tale. You averted your gaze and started slowly. 

“It all happened in 1942… or so…”you started and flashbacks appeared in your mind. The story began to leave your mind, using naturally formulated sentences that you didn’t even need to think through before saying them. They just left you like a bottled up steam. 

…

And it’s all started with you having enough. You needed to get out, wander aimlessly just for a moment. The stress and pressure caused by horrendous things that war brought along was crushing you inside out. You and other women were told to be double careful around here, in the campsite. You were not prisoners, of course, but it was openly admitted to you, that it would be safer if you stayed in medical area and if not, you should go in groups or with some escort. But that night there was no one to accompany you. You didn’t even want that. It was one of those nights when you were free of duty to keep your eyes on patients. 

Many nurses waited for night like that, yet you dreaded them. You were left alone with your thoughts, and they were killing you slowly. Your past always returned to you at quiet moments like that. And that cursed wedding ring that still stayed on your finger… You couldn’t bring yourself to take it off. Other girls asked you of your husband but you admitted to them that you were a widow. And oddly they pitied you. Especially your assistant. 

Margaret was a good girl, way too good to end up in the place as dangerous as that. When she heard that your husband died and tried to console you, you felt obliged to clear that horrendous misunderstanding. You told her that the marriage was arranged and you didn’t really loved him. But the ring was to remind you of the times that made you stronger. She admired you, like some sort of heroin, example to follow but never touched the subject of the ring anymore. 

But you were not a good example to follow. You never were. After all you lied to her. You lied to yourself. The face of your abusive, no…. murderous husband were on your mind even years after you _killed him._ And since that moment, all you did was for your redemption. You needed to endure that for the sake of your immortal soul, you were so close to reaching you goal you were sure of that! 

As you were fighting with your own thoughts you didn’t even notice that you wandered farther than you wanted. You were nearly at the edge of campsite and all that surrounded you was darkness. The lamps set by soldiers, just a few, at the tent posts, didn’t reach that far. You didn’t even hear as someone approached you. First what you felt was actually stench of alcohol, and then heavy, chapped hand against your mouth, pulling you back forcefully. You lost your balance and the person pushed you hard to the ground. 

He pushed something disgusting past your lips, gaging you and muffling your screams. You struggled hard. Kicking your legs, clawing your way up, but he was so much stronger than you ever were. He grunted something to you but at this point you didn’t hear anything apart from blood thumping in your head. He readjusted your hands so he could keep them both in one of his own while another one traveled down your body, tearing open your buttoned shirt along the way. You whined and struggled more, but when you felt his warm palm at your leg, hiking your skirt up you froze, ceasing your movements. That made him confident because he refocused on your legs spreading them apart farther and lightened the grip he had on your wrists. You realized that and wriggled one of your hands out of his grip. You put that hand against his chest trying to push him off you, but he didn’t budge. His hand traveled up, along your inner tight and rested dangerously close to your underwear. Then he fell forward putting his weight on you and attacking your neck with violent kisses and bites. You whined in pain and disgust feeling his saliva on your skin and freed your right hand that he crushed with his body, your left one was still in his grip above your head. In panic, you placed your arm along your side looking for something to hit him with, but the ground was clean, only muddy soil no stone in reach. Then a thought struck you and you tried to feel your sash that you had clipped to your belt. It should be on this side of your body and you kept a few useful items inside. With some more struggle you felt it there and hastily got your hand inside, grabbing the first object you could touch. A feeling of excitement bloomed in your chest as you realized what it was. 

In lightning speed the scalpel you held was piercing the side of soldier’s neck. Buried beyond the hilt, your hand touching your attacker’s skin acting like a stopper. If it wasn’t for it, the scalpel would sink much farther into his flesh, you used so much strength. He gurgled a scream as you retracted your weapon and were showered in his warm blood. You felt it sprinkling on your chest, throat and lower side of your face. If you licked your lips you could taste it. His grip on you slackened and you pushed him off you successfully this time. You scrambled fast up to your feet and eyed your abuser who was clawing passionately at his neck that was spurting blood rhythmically. _Artery._ You knew well where to struck. He would die soon so you felt safe and turned on your heels. Cleaning the scalpel against your skirt you were listening to his pathetic whines and your heart throbbed. You felt it again. Pity. You were a medic, you were there to help you couldn’t leave that man to die, even if he planned to humiliate, defile you. Even if the last memory of him were still those warm hands on your tights… 

You hid your scalpel back to the sash and turned back to the man. At that point he was weakly pressing down the wound you inflicted and lay unmoving. You approached him and threw one of your legs over his laying form so you was standing above him. You knelt down, straddling his chest, your skirt hiked up shamelessly but you paid no mind this time. You were on a mission. You bend down and gripped head of the man between your forearms, tensing your muscles you looked down at him an despite his weakened state and darkness you noticed fear in his eyes. And that felt good. With sharp, skillful movement you snapped his head to the side breaking his neck in the process. He slacked down, body relaxing and you slowly got up. Adjusting and dusting off your uniform you looked down at him the last time with cold expression on your face. After a moment of contemplation and removing body and any possible evidence, you turned on your heel and marched back to where you came from. 

You pushed aside tent lapels and took more or less than two steps inside before Margie, your dutiful assistant, screamed in terror at the sight of you. 

“Y/N! What had happened? Are you alright?!” she approached you completely forgetting the patient who she was attending at the moment. Her voice brought attention to you and all conscious patients looked your way. 

“Yes, Margie, I’m fine, tripped there in the darkness and fell.” You tried to ignore the fact that you were currently observed by every set of eyes in that goddamned medical tent, where you should feel safe, in your kingdom at ease. 

“But… the blood, so much… Are you hurt?” she asked hurriedly in genuine concern and you cursed internally. You actually forgot about that one detail. 

“Blood?... Oh… I…” your breath trembled as you sighed but as you looked your eyes with the girl in front of you, all you felt was confidence “I wandered farther than I predicted, drowned in my own thoughts and tripped… against fresh corpse…” You feigned worrisome expression and your voice trembled at the end “fell into _the pit…_ ” you didn’t continue as she paled understanding well what you implied. There was a certain area where freshly deceased soldiers were… stored before funeral or transportation. You weren’t completely lying with that. You visited the pit tonight. And tonight another body joined them. 

“Oh My God! But are you sure you are alright?” 

“Yes. I’m fine. I just seem to be in need of new uniform...and bath.. heh…” you smiled and laughed without humor “And I’ll do just that. Goodnight Margaret.” You attempted to adjust you torn and bloodied uniform once more to save all decency you had left and in a few strides you passed her. 

“Goodnight….” She turned to you as you went farther down the aisle between beds disappearing behind the curtain to your private tent section. 

… 

Just like that you stopped your story. You returned to present day, hotel room. Your mind didn’t support you anymore. The story was cut short, sparing all unnecessary details, but it still caused you a wave of strange emotions you weren’t entirely fond of. Alastor, to your surprise, sat there listening quietly. Trying to absorb every your word. 

“Darling… why didn’t you tell me any of that before?” he accused lightly, still astonished of the story you shared with him. You looked back at your husband in surprise, shocked by his humane reactions. No jokes, jests, mocking. Just genuine surprise and dared you say, concern hid behind his permanent grin. 

“What are you even talking about? It was long time ago, like over eight decades ago…When I was still alive… Doesn’t matter anymore.” 

“I beg to differ… You share my displeasure towards any of those…. _Sexual encounters_ so I do believe you felt utterly trashed! And being trashed is not something that I wish my wife ever felt!” “I had no idea that my actions would invoke those horrendous experiences!” he exclaimed honestly with frown and you blinked at him. He didn’t apologize but he kind of expressed that he regretted what he had done and that was enough for you. 

“I don’t feel as uncomfortable when it’s you… it’s just force of habit…” you mumbled back not feeling comfortable with that simple admission. You didn’t want to stroke his ego even more. 

“You don’t…?” he choke in surprise to your astonishment. Again you surprised him into silence. 

“I know you for nearly a century… can you believe it? _A century_ … And even though I admit that intimacy or romantic….” You couldn’t find the word so you just gesticulated with your hands and continued “Make me utterly uncomfortable causing _panic attacks…_ ” you hoped he wouldn’t use it against you. “… I think I managed to get used to… well, you. And you were always _grabby…_ ” you sent him a small smile. “Despite everything… you were a good husband, Al… You.. never really forced me into anything, apart from the whole marriage of course!” you laughed awkwardly at the mention. 

“You really think so?” 

“What? That is a fact, you know the circumstances of our marriage…” 

“I meant me, being a good husband…” 

“…Oh…” you gasped quietly. “Erm… yeah. You were… fine.” You might have say too much again. ”I heard about others women… marrying willingly and ending rather miserable in the whole predicament for years… So I guess I was not as unlucky after all..” after you said that he looked at you oddly and you felt anxious somehow. 

“Darling…?” he said evenly. 

“Yes?” 

“If I’m remembering correctly we were intimate once, my love…” 

“…ah… yeah… we were…” 

“Do you want to repeat that?” he asked and you froze, your head turned to him in mechanical way. 

“What… are you talking about?” 

“You… know…” he stuttered clearly uncomfortable. _He surely didn’t mean…_

“… why?” you questioned weakly. 

“I feel… affectionate towards you now… so I figured… that maybe you would like to…” 

“But you don’t mean to.. I mean you don’t… do that, on your own volition. And I don’t want to force you to anything...” you frowned until you realized something. “… and I just told you about my abusive experiences why would you propose that instead?” you accused angrily this time. 

“But I would never abuse you like that! If I did it with pleasure you would not mind that, is it correct my dear?” he said cheerfully but you saw in his eyes the nervousness that he tried to hide behind his usual grin. Your eyes widened at his admission. “I recall you didn’t hide your elation during our… hm… first time… And I assure you I don’t feel repulsed at the thought of sharing those moments with you as well.” He admitted and you felt a slight throb inside your chest. 

“I… don’t want to. I mean it wasn’t bad.. I did like that. But… after what happened afterwards… I…” you tried to justify but the more you thought about it the more stupid you found it to be. 

“Darling… you still blame yourself?” he asked in disbelief. 

“No. It’s just bad aftertaste now. Doesn’t mean a thing…” you shook it off. After so many years spent in Hell it indeed was meaning nothing anymore. “But… Can we just.. spend a quality time together… Affectionate in your way?” you asked timidly instead. 

“Hahaha, what does that mean?” Alastor seemed to be amused by the way you phrased your question. Also you knew he likes doing things his way.

“You know… at 5 ft distance…” you smiled at him, completely forgetting that a few minutes ago you almost decapitated him. You both seemed to forget about that small detail.

“Hahaha, Darling, it is only 2 ft in your case!” he already started to crawl towards you. At the moments like that he actually reminded you of his playful side that he possessed still being a human. When you both were alone, which happened most of the times, he discarded his proper gentleman attitude and actually let himself be… _goofy_ with you.

“Oh~ really?” you smirked and leaned back allowing him to get way closer than the distance you proposed. “Hmm~ I’m pretty sure I was closer to you than that…. We both know that.” 

“Indeed you might have just been…~” he bent over you again ready to resume his tickling assault but the quiet knocking on the door interrupted you two. 

“Yes?” you called and the door opened timidly with a quiet creaking sound behind. 

“Hey, I hope I don’t interrupting you two in anything…?” Charlie immediately started seeing you sitting on the couch in rather unusual pose. Alastor still hovered over your semi-laying form but you waved her hesitation off encouraging her to continue “Well, I wondered if you would like to see the hotel, to think the way we could put your therapy in use or something…?” she asked. “I’ve already have some nice ideas! If you’d like to listen to them-…!” 

“Oh, dear Charlie’s ideas are so full of passion Darling! I’m sure you would be delighted to be familiarized with them!” Alastor added and stood up in the blink of an eye so you also could sit up properly. 

“Oh… yeah, haha…” Charlie laughed awkwardly looking at Alastor warily. So she didn’t trust him yet…? _Good._

“But of course I’m sure I will be!” you declared staring straight at the princess whose gaze snapped to you and she seemed to fight with her own courage “Well? Would you like to tour me through the building? I believe I might lose my way among those various corridors…?” 

“Oh sure!” 

“Darling, let’s not burden our princess with such a task! She probably is very busy as the manager of this lovely establishment! I can be your host! I may be here for one day merely, but I already got to know my ways here~…” 

“Oh, definitely not! I won’t go with you, one on one, period! You would get me lost on purpose!” 

“You know me so well!” he nuzzled you cheek and you were surprised of that display in front of another person. You simply assumed he didn’t deem Charlie as a threat to his ego… Smug bastard. 

“No, Al… I’m not busy right now, Vaggie does the office work right now so I have a spare time to introduce a new member of the stuff! I am so happy that you agreed Emsel!” 

“Oh, honey call me Y/N, Emsel is merely stage name.” grinning, you and Alastor shared a look. 

“Very well, so maybe I’ll show you our rehabilitation areas first! Rooms are quite bare as we believe that everyone should feel good here and they could refurbish their rooms to their likening!” you all walked out Alastor’s room, ending in very long and dark corridor. 

“Ah~ about rooms… I’m sorry if I abuse my welcome but I wondered if I would be able to plead for a private space for myself? Even small spare room that I could convert in my office would do! I simply need a space that I could recover for a few hours a day.” 

“Oh but of course! I actually planned to give you one of our floors to adjust for your needs!” 

“The whole floor!? I was granted with one room!” Alastor protested and Charlie blinked at him flabbergasted. Room that was huge and penthouse like. 

“Don’t mind him Charlie, dear, he is simply jealous that I am more important than he is.” 

“Important!? How outrageous! Darling, I dare you to repeat that!” he growled and you turned to him with pleased smile on your lips. You stood just in front of him, slowly lifting yourself, standing up on your toes. 

“I. Am. More. Important. For. Redemption. Purposes.” With each word you were closer to Alastor face and despite his close mouthed smile he twitched with each word of yours. He didn’t manage to retort anything though as you pecked his lips hastily, after a second of staring him down. He blinked on you in surprise as you backed off. 

“Shall we proceed?” you turned back to the princes and took Alastor hand linking your arms together. He kept quiet and you knew he was just fuming inside. You looked side ways to him only to notice he was staring back to you the whole time. Sensing danger you lifted your another hand and started to massage the back of his hand that you kept hooked against your arm. 

“Uhm… yeah. But Al, really, don’t feel bad, I mean Y/N will need some space for her therapy, individual and group ones. It take some space…” 

“Charlie, don’t explain yourself. There is nothing wrong with your reasoning. It is actually well thought and pretty reasonable. Any logically thinking person would get on it without the need of your lengthy explanation.” You said “You’d better tell me what do you have in mind taking the redemption into accord…” 

“Ah, yes… Well I believe that everyone is good inside. At least to some point and that everyone deserves second chance. But you probably already heard that.” she smiled at you “So I thought, that maybe if I manage to diminish bad influence that Hell has, I would manage to wake that good side of sinners and actually help them to redeem themselves!” she described excitedly. “I really would like that…” she added sadly. 

“Oh, princess dear, you forgot to add that you don’t even know if it is possible at all!” Alastor finally took a voice and you already didn’t like it. He probably could feel the painful squeeze of his hand but he didn’t show anything. 

“How do you plan to cut sinners from bad influence? I do believe that this could be challenging. We are in Hell, live in here. You never truly can escape, can you?” 

“Well, we basically planned to isolate them in here, BUT…” she immediately added “providing all they need and more! In good sense. We have a lot of halls that provide different activities! We have small cinema hall, music hall, place for some arts and crafts, even gym and swimming pool! And other where they could calm their minds, forget that they are in Hell to begin with.. To be themselves, you know, but in the good way.” 

“I see… but I thought I saw bar in the lobby, which is a _Heaven_ for addicts. It is hardly redeeming…” 

“That, my dear, is my doing!” Alastor boasted with puffed chest. 

“Of course, _king of discord and disaster._. I thought I saw familiar face behind the counter…”

“So… you think the bar must go…?” 

“Oh no, I didn’t say that. You see, as much as abstinence is crucial for addicts recovering, the withdrawal of any substance they are addicted to brings very severe side effects, that are hardly pleasant. And I imagine that the key for redemption is willingness. So if you close an addict here, and cut them off completely they would associate the hotel with horrible place, and the redemption with painful and completely useless process. They would fight with you and even worse, do in spite of anything you believe in… I think teaching them that drinking is not that bad, in moderate amounts obviously, would be more beneficial than taking away that pleasure from them.” 

“Oh I see! So we just need to limit the amount they could get. Like a daily limit for example!” 

“Yes, that would be a good start.” 

“Wonderful idea! I knew you would be perfect help for the hotel!” 

“Well, thank you for your kind words…” 

“There you are!” you all turned in direction of the voice only to see Vagatha storming in your direction. “I already finished with the documents so I thought that I could accompany you… Just in case.” She spoke to princess but looked at both of you warily. _Ah yes…_ she wanted to keep an eye on you in case you manage to manipulate Charlie into cooperation. _Wise…_

“Great we just started!” she exclaimed and turned back to you “So, Y/N…. were you psychotherapist while alive… or maybe someone else to keep yourself busy with such matters in here?” she asked and pointed the direction she wanted you to follow. 

“Hm.. I studied human mind but started off as a physician nurse during my life and then actual doctor in afterlife… But after some decades when I finally managed to establish my position I turned back to psychology. It is enormously captivating subject!” 

“So I did hear you have great results. Your former patients talk about you in superlative manner only! How do you do this? Do you have established approach to all cases or maybe it differs from case to case?” she asked curiously, her eyes gleamed in anticipation. 

“It is unfortunately always different, there is no ultimate manual to follow. You just need to read people correctly and apply the correct techniques, tailored especially for your patient.” You continued as you all roamed those endless corridors. 

“Oh it is more like testing the limitations of those fools that irked my lovely wife! You’d be in awe to witness how easy it is to lose one’s sanity! Y/N’s methods she presented me once were fascinating and their effectiveness positively surprising! I can recommend her with all of my heart contents!” Alastor added dreamily, patting your head patronizingly. And due to his comment you all stopped in your tracks. 

“You’re not helping…!” you hissed through your teeth at him and then immediately turned to princess who gaped at you “What Alastor meant was that I had plenty of opponents many, many years ago. Mainly because I was not as… developed in my practice, I didn’t have as much experience back then. All in all, mistakes happened and not everyone liked that. But I guarantee, my slate is clean for… a few decades now. I do know what I’m doing! No malpractice here!” princess and her companion didn’t have to know that those mistakes were caused by purpose, of course. To get better at something you need to know rights and wrongs. Experiment a little. 

“Alright… so how do you plan to help in redemption, are there some… less _invasive and risky_ techniques you could use?” Charlie tried carefully with still uncertain expression. 

“I’m not completely sure yet, but I would say that over the years leading people out of their troubles is more of a stick and carrot approach… so I would start with that..” you shook your head amusedly. But you opened your eyes widely as you got an fantastic idea. “Oh! I could reward the rehabilitated patients whit halos I collected! I have plenty of them! And you know, rehabilitated sinner should get a halo of their own in the end, right?” you clapped in delight, innocent smile on your lips while demons around stared at you in utter disbelief. “Here, symbolism is quite literal!” you added seeing their confusion. 

“Oh, wonderful idea, my dear! It would be so fitting! Demons that possess the halos, oh the mockery of the saints! Hahaha!” Alastor exclaimed almost immediately. “Oh, pure genius!” You looked up at him with small grateful smile he widened grabbing side of your cheek and pulling up slightly. He never caused you pain though. 

“That is horrible idea! Why do you even have actual halos in the first place!? It is sick!” Vaggie screamed in frustration. 

“Vaggie, dear! I am the therapist. I know the sickness of the mind the moment it surfaces…” you grinned, face split in two. Her anger diminished slightly to let outright fear to appear. That one particular expression of yours was straight on creepy. “And I admit, I tend to collect things… not exactly healthy hobby of mine…” 

“You think I mean just _collecting_?” she hissed at you, and you narrowed your eyes in mirth. Her constant angry tantrums played on your nerves. 

“Um.. Y/N as much as I appreciate the idea of gratification and rewards for the positive outcomes…. I also don’t approve the _halo idea_ … You know, it is kind of morbid….” She hung her voice for a moment. “Also it may bring bad connotation…exterminations and all…” 

“And is definitely sinful!” Vaggie added. 

“Oh dear. You know how to dampen one’s enthusiasm…” you deflated, shoulders sagging slightly. 

“Don’t you worry, my love! Don’t let them deter your passion! I already have plenty of other possibilities you could use your favorite bling for!” 

“You really do? I am afraid they are wasting in that basement of ours…” 

“Oh you both are worth each other!” Vaggie yelled, gripping her hair in fists. At that rate she would go completely bald. 

“Why, thank you!” Alastor and you turned to her at once. 

“But seriously… no real halos… ok?” Charlie sternly started to clarified any possible misunderstanding. 

“Alright. We’ll start with stickers.” You deadpanned. 

“Yes! Now we’re talking!” Charlie sighed in relief. “So which floor would be the most suitable to convert it into therapy area…? Vaggie?” 

“Um, I didn’t know they all pretty much the same. I guess it doesn’t really matter…” 

“I would be glad if it could be one of the most top floors..” 

“Why…?” Vaggie asked suspiciously 

“Mental therapy requires calm atmosphere so the commotion given by the closeness of lobby and other common areas would be counterproductive. Also someone who wants to attend such a therapy should willingly chose to come to me. If I would have been stationed on the topmost floor the possible patients would have to specifically go there. Never by accident..” 

“You think that any of them would willingly come to you to rehabilitate?” Vaggie ased with lifted brow. 

“Not at all.” 

“Yeah, right.” Vaggie deadpanned and turned pleadingly to her girlfriend. “Charlie?” 

“Hmm, I do think it is a good idea. It’s like being closer to Heaven as well! It’s decided then!” she exclaimed excitedly at what Vaggie sighed in resignation. 

“Very well! I’ll start the works straight away!” 

“Cool! But I think you we should start with therapies as well. So you could use one of offices room or any place you want while the floor would be refurbished!” 

“Perfect.” You grinned like a shark. 

“Wait a second!” Vaggie interrupted. “The renovation of the whole floor is a big deal! Don’t we want to make sure first if her therapy would be working at all? Like test her before she start literally ripping the building to shreds?” 

“Uhm.. I’ve got the good feeling about this. I heard that Y/N is very devoted to what she does and has great results! Many demons that were her patients are actually happy they partook the sessions!” 

“Yeah, and I heard that some of her patients disappears without a trace instead!” she screamed and Charlie blinked at her in astonishment. 

“Uhm, I’m not sure how to react to that…” Charlie stated and her eyes snapped to you, her expression wasn’t so confident anymore. 

“Well, let’s test her out first! Her job shouldn’t be just therapy, she also should be able to actually coax our patrons to attending her sessions in the first place! She should be able to encourage them to be better, without ill mannerisms and deceits!” 

“Well, you have a point…” Charlie agreed and you lifted unimpressed brow at the moth demon. That girl was reasonable, you’d given her that. 

“How about you present us your abilities, trying to rehabilitate Angel Dust first? He is our first patron and if you’ll be able to get him attend your sessions _willingly_ I will not oppose your farther input in the hotel affairs?” Vaggie turned to you sternly stating her conditions. 

“You say that you want to sacrifice your first patron, treating him as guinea pig to my treatment methods?” You taunted the grey skinned demoness who fumed back at you. 

“It would be sacrifice only if you meant harm!” 

“Hahaha, hilarious!“ Alastor laughed, the track of laughing audience accompanying him, which also prompt you to chuckle. Girls looked at you both oddly, not sure what your amusement meant. You were the first to calm yourself. 

“I see. Is it a deal?” you asked humorously, bending down to her, extending your hand expectantly. The moth demon scowled jumping back, avoiding any possible touch. 

“No deals with you both! Ever! Treat it more like an ultimatum! You do it, you stay!” she declared unyieldingly and you actually couldn’t decline. 

“Hm… your conditions are harsh, miss Vaggie.” You stated thoughtfully. “But I’ll do my best.” 

“You’d better. I don’t trust you at all, and honesty I don’t believe you’ll manage to help us with redemption all that much.” Vaggie said openly at what Charlie sighed sadly in the background. But she didn’t take a voice in that. 

“Then I suggest you to watch me closely. Maybe you’ll learn a thing or two.” 

“Oh, I will be watching, don’t concern yourself.” She warned and you and Al grinned at each other. Devotion of that girl was just admirable. 

A few weeks passed and you were actually starting to get frustrated. That _Angel Dust_ you were forced to spend your time with was as much annoying as you could ever imagine to stand. Moreover he was spider. And a _pornstar_. A porn star still actively working. So you didn’t dare to touch him until you were completely sure he took a bath, or three, before entering your office. Fortunately touching was not obligatory when it came to your sessions. Unfortunately, your established routine was always to examine physically each of your patients during the first appointment. Just to collect some basic medical data. And it was not easy with this _Angel Dust_ at all. He opposed anything you wanted to proceed with. You actually realized why Vaggie proposed such a test. She knew you wouldn’t accomplish. Not in complete licit manner. 

So you started to formulate spare plan. Not entirely fair, but as legal as you could think of. Just in case. Meanwhile you still tried to make any kind of progress with your singular patient. But he ridiculed anything you did. He laughed at you, he offended you. When he got to know you a little better he started to pull pranks on you and Alastor. Especially sexual ones. And you found yourself additionally annoyed because now you had to keep Alastor at bay, as he actively wanted to _kill_ the spider. No, you couldn’t let that happen for your credibility sake. So not only you tried to inveigle subtly the persistent patient of yours but also you were obliged to babysit your husband. 

Speaking of which, he started to disappear from time to time, for long hours. Not saying a word of course. But you didn’t care for explanation. He always came back and that was enough for you. You couldn’t be anyhow worried, he was the Radio Demon, he didn’t fear anybody, it was everybody that feared him. But you were slightly intrigued by his actions. He usually didn’t keep secrets from you, at least not for long. Oh, no… His excitement usually got the better of him and he usually spilled the beans before it started to bug you. This time was different though. He refused to share his secret with you no matter how often you drilled the hole in his belly. Once, in _literal_ sense. 

All of your torment lasted weeks. You huffed and puffed but you never complained, not in Charlie presence. You were always optimistic and set on positive results if she asked. Vaggie though… She didn’t show that openly but you knew she was happy with your misery. Until one day that seemed uneventful at first. 

Nifty was cleaning somewhere, Husk was behind the counter, drunk as always. Angel lounged on the sofa in the lobby and girls were organizing some stuff behind reception desk giggling from time to time. You were in your office while Alastor was nowhere to be seen. Again. The afternoon was peaceful if not little boring. Until the entrance door were opened with a kick. 

People gathered in lobby turned to it immediately but all they could see was a cloud of pinkish smoke and blurry silhouette of a very tall person. 

“There you are Angel Cakes…. There you hide yourself from me..?” the spider trembled at familiar voice and immediately jumped to his feet. “I tried to contact you after your working hours but you were nowhere to be seen… for weeks…” 

“V-Val… it just that the rent is the cheapest here! I-I’m not hiding from anyone, hahah!” he tried to explain but the Overlord didn’t care much for it. He entered the lobby as if he owned the place and girls also approached Angel as his angered boss finally stood in front of him. They both looked very conflicted at how to react as the moth grabbed one of Angel upper arms and pulled him closer to his face obscured by that ridiculous pink glasses. 

“It is good because you check out right now, Angel baby.” He sneered with evil glint in his eyes and Angel faltered for a second. “What? Is there a problem?” 

“Problem? No, of course not! Who would like to stay in shithole like that?!” Angel laughed nervously at what Vaggie growled. 

”Valentino…” Charlie started a little hurt by Angel words but Vaggie screamed over her. 

“You cannot force him to leave, Valentino! He is our patron, trying his best to redeem himself!” Vaggie exclaimed her spear pointed towards overlord. She heard a few words about him as well, and even if he was much more predictable than Radio Demon was, he was one of the most cruelest overlords that were there in Hell. Also one of the most manipulative and toxic. 

“Hahaha! You want to redeem my Angel Cakes? Well, good luck with that! You just chose the worst piece of work to that. Just look at him! Hahaha! He is a slut and that slut is mine!” Angel frowned, hiding his expression behind his fringe. “And he will do just as I say. Isn’t it right Angel?” he jerked at the mention of his name and nodded obediently. 

“Y-yes, Mista Valentino…” 

“Actually…” you interjected appearing in the room out of nowhere. Everybody in the room turned to you “…it is not entirely true…” you waltzed inside calmly with neutral expression. Yet your voice held a dose of amusement. 

“Emsel…. Why am I not surprised to see you in here? Hm… ah right… cockroaches hide in dumps like that…” Valention sneered full of himself as always. He let go of Angel to turn to you completely. 

“Well said by an insect of true form… There was a time you were nicer to me.” You complained approaching him bravely. You were pretty tall demon yourself a but he was the tallest specimen in the whole Hell. At least among those that mattered anything in that ashen pit. 

“That was before you tried to humiliate me publicly….” He reminded. 

“I didn’t try, _I did…_ ” you clarified in exchange. “However I didn’t have to do anything, really. You humiliate yourself well enough.” 

“You…” he growled at you and biting his cigarette between his teeth he let go of enormous puff of smoke that made Angel, Charlie and Vaggie cough. “You came in here, intervening in my business, just to tell me that?” 

“Oh… of course not.” You laughed in amusement. “As I already started… it is not true that Angel has to go with you or do anything on your order. I came to inform you of that.” 

“Oh ahahaha! Emsel… _babe…_ ” you cringed at the pet name he chose. “I thought you were brighter than that! I possess Angel soul, I thought that was clear enough. He belongs to me, for the whole eternity. And as my pet. He will do anything I want him to do…” 

“No he won’t. Not anymore anyway. I took it upon myself to examine his mental wellbeing and I am afraid that certain aspects of your cooperation will inevitably come to an end… For a time being that is..” you stated still fully confident of your right. 

“What…?” he drawled, grin faltered. 

“I, on my professional license, declared Angel Dust incompetent to decide of his own bearings, so anything that concerns him, goes through me first.” 

“What?! I’ve never agreed on that!” Angel yelled at you, jumping in between you and Valentino. 

“Of course, you didn’t have to. _You are insane_. Here’s the certificate.” You pushed him aside and unrolled the paper to present it fully to the moth overlord. 

“Haha, you want to outrun me in my own game?! You think you are so clever, don’t you? Check mate Emsel! You just sell him right back to me!” he snapped his own parchment into existence and Angel gasped at the sight. “This is the contract that says that Angel’s soul belongs to me, which means, even if he is _incapable mentally_ I am the one authorized to decide on his behalf!” 

“I will disappoint you then.” You presented him with another document that he glared at, victorious smile falling immediately. “This is authorization certificate with my name on it. According to it, I am the decisive person, not you Valentino.” You taunted with grin that grew bigger as you continued. “Everything’s legal, as much as it is possible in Hell.” 

“You have no one to validate that!” 

“Hmm… Don’t I?” he tear the paper out of your hands to examine it closer and he froze seeing the details. He looked up at you. “Yes, it is the authentic signature.” 

“It is fucking outrageous! Does your _husband_ know you whore yourself around for favors like that? Hahaha, it is so precious! You interfere between me and the soul I own! It means war, you _twat!_ ” 

“Oh, I would never do that. I myself own a couple of them. I can imagine how unfair it would be if anyone step in between, disrupting bonds of such a fragile nature… Angel will still work at your… studio, you are still his boss. However, at professional terms only. As you can see I do have the validated document and you have nothing to oppose it with. Hence, Angel stays here, in my care and under my surveillance. And you have no power over him outside the profits he gains you.” You explained calmly. “Now, you know what that means Valentino… _shoo._ ” You waved your hand in sweeping motion towards door. 

“You will pay for that, you will see. Oh, and Angel baby, I see you tomorrow, morning… You will work some extra hours now…” 

“Valentino… if I may add one last thing…” you stated. “I suggest you didn’t put so much pressure on souls you possess. Breaking them will only harm you and your business, but of course, you are aware of that, right?” you asked in patronizing manner. 

“Ughrrrr!” he growled at you and tear the certificate to shreds. Gritting his teeth like a vice, he bit off the end of his cigarette and it fell to the floor. “You’ll be seeing me soon.” 

”It actually was a copy for you, but it seems you don’t need that…” he turned abruptly and without any more ado he left, slamming the door with unnecessary force. 

“Wow, you just started war with an Overlored…” Vaggie broke the silence. 

“Well, me and Valentino are not on friendly terms for a few decades now… He and all he does is utterly disgusting. I doubt that even for business purposes would I ever want to fraternize with him…” you explained calmly to still flabbergasted girls. Angel seethed quietly in the corner not saying anything yet. After all there was a time that he wanted to make you one of his special girls… which you politely refused immediately. Only when he started to distribute drugs like roofies you decided to make him remember not to ever cross you. There wasn’t anything that angered you more than taking advantage of somebody else in such disgraceful manner. Alastor shared your opinion. And obviously, he spoiled the drug market for you. 

“Well that was… neat…” Charlie commented and lifted a few pieces of document trying to see why Valentino was so outraged by a single piece of paper. She noted the signature and with shock she turned to you. “How did you make Dad to sign that?! He never signs…. Anything!” 

“Oh that’s not true… Lucifer will sign _anything_ if he finds it amusing enough. And a possibility of a serious discord and war with Overlord was all it took.” You told her with amused smile plastered to your lips. 

“Yeah, Alastor will be furious to know that you spread havoc without ‘im…” Husker emerged from behind the counter “I know that war makes people to do crazy shit, but I didn’t see you as a kamikaze type…” 

“Oh shut up, you drunk kitty cat. Such a _gentleman_ of you to interfere when ladies were in need.” You retorted in annoyance. You didn’t need his help obviously, but you needed to scold him for setting the right example. 

“Why should I care? I knew you will manage just fine on your own…” he shot back and lifted the bottle up, cutting the conversation short. 

“So… it means that Angel stays with us and doesn’t have to worry of Valentino anymore! When he is not at work that is…” Charlie declared hopefully. 

“Yeah… congratulations…” Angel mumbled ominously drawing your attention to himself. “You really must think you are so clever to trick him like that! But you know what? I didn’t ask you of anything! You fucking ruined everything!” 

“Angel! She just sent Valentino off for you and anyone in here!” Charlie defended but he attacked back and she clammed up immediately. 

“For how long though! And as you said, only when I am out of studio, but I will still work there! I wonder what he will do to me now, just to spite you!” he turned to you, raging, showing any genuine emotion in front of you for the first time. Well, that was a real progress… “So yeah, thank you very much!” 

“He will not do anything to you. It was crucial to still leave you in his clutches, in a sense. He still owns you. But… right now he cannot force you to do anything out of the work you agreed on doing. He abused his rights of soul possession for years now. That contract that he held was very poorly formulated which gave him self-proclaimed upper hand. But as I interfered, I tore that advantage out of his grip, leaving him with the rules that were explicitly stated in your contract only.” You explained at length for him to understand everything. “He is not a fool, all ire he has will be directed at me. And his greed won’t let him harm you as you are his the most profitable possession, are you not?” he blinked at you yet his angry expression didn’t change. “Now… will you subject to my treatment willingly? I’ll just warn you that if you don’t I will swallow my pride and pay Valentino a visit, only to tear the paper I presented him to shreds…” you asked and watched as the spider demon bit his lips in contemplation. The deal didn’t seem so bad… 

“Fine. You won! Congrats once more!” he spit and you smile at him gently. 

“Wait, you did all of that to make Angel attend your therapy! This doesn’t count!” Vaggie yelled at you and you sighed. 

“Are you willing to change your ways, change your live for the better which can only benefit you farther, mister Dust?” you recited unwillingly. 

“Yeah, as willing as I always am willing to suck a nice guy dry…” you gagged at his crude comparison but nevertheless smiled smugly at the moth demon. Vaggie’s eye twitched in irritation but she caved seeing that you have indeed met all her expectations. 

“Fine.” 

“Yay! Now we can start everything in full swing!” Charlie cheered and hugged her girlfriend whose sour expression disappeared at the sight of such a pure happiness. 

“Perfect! I’ll call builders straight away! I have a perfect group to do the job done within blink of an eye! They build all of my clinics!” you clasped your hands together in relief that this ridiculous test of will ended finally. 

“ _Darling~_ … I’m home!” radio voice sung teasingly as Alastor entered the lobby, light on his feet. And oddly content. 

“Oh, and where have you been all this time?” you asked accusingly. 

“Yeah, we had a dire situation with an overlord while you were out, _shitlord…_ ” Vaggie murmured but her words caught Alastor’s attention without any problem. His ear twitched expectantly and his head snapped in her direction. 

“Overlord? Which one, pry tell?” he asked but didn’t seem perturbed in the slightest. 

“Valentino came to collect Angel but Y/N dealt with the problem like a pro!” Charlie cheered happily and Alastor laughed loudly. 

“Hahaha, darling! How is it that I am always absent when you have the most fun times, hmm? I would love to see you stomping on him like the insect he is!” he spread his arms apart and you instead, crossed them. 

“He called me cockroach this time… and a _twat…_ ” you pouted as he approached you and grabbed your upper arms rubbing them up and down repeatedly. 

“Yes, he always lacked manners! But! I have present for you my Darling! I hope it would lighten you day!” he snapped and a bulky demon emerged from black portal. He was tightly wrapped in black tendrils of Alastor’s power and tried hard to free himself but your husband with mere flick of his wrist tightened the bonds and the stranger wailed in pain. You observed that display in confusion while the rest of demons in lobby watched in fright mixed with disbelief. 

“Who is this?” you asked neutrally. 

“That, my lovely wife, is the man you had some unfinished business with, since 1942 I believe!” 

“Unfinished…” you started staring at the unfortunate soul that your husband seemingly hunted especially for you. You couldn’t place the face, as he was demon now. But one detail was familiar. His eyes and the same fear you saw that night. Then everything clicked on place.” _…Oh._ ” 

“After your story it was obvious he would be in Hell. I asked around and I found out that this coward managed to survive all exterminations and still is around!” he hesitated slightly. “Aren’t you happy I brought him back to you?” he tilled his head in question and you sighed. 

“Well, apart from your apparent zeal to reopen my old scars…” you started annoyingly. “I do have some steam to let go. The past few weeks were rather frustrating to me.” You smiled gently at him and Alastor’s grin widened in self-contentment. “Thank you for the gift, darling!” 

“What the fuck?” Husker was the first one to break the silence of all hotel stuff members who still observed you two. Your eyes snapped to them and with innocent smile you curled an index finger at Alastor, beckoning him to come closer. He hummed in wonder, bending down to you and you tiptoed to reach one of his ears. You whispered something to him and his self-satisfied grin turned feral but he didn’t comment, merely chuckled. Snapping his fingers the person in his clutches retracted back down to the portal and it closed, disappearing, as if nothing ever happened before. 

“Uh, guys who was that?” Charlie started uncertain and slightly apalled by the display she witnessed a moment ago. 

“Yeah and what are you planning to do to him!?” Vaggie yelled, her pale, ashen face got red in anger. 

“Oh, it was nothing! Out of sight, out of mind!~ Let’s enjoy the rest of a day! We have plenty to do in incoming future!” you exclaimed happily and Radio demon circled his arm against you waist, pulling you to his side. When you were close enough you did the same, circling your against his waist. So you stood there, supporting each other. 

“Ohoho, indeed! Let us start to redeem those fools that so selfishly crave better life for themselves! Oh I am so thrilled!” he announced and you turned back to him, you both ignoring the rest of people in the hall. 

“Won’t you take a look at the music hall? I’m sure you would be the perfect person to take care of the entertainment section of the hotel!” 

“Oh, my love, you indeed know me so well! I would be delighted to!” you both started to head down to the said music hall, swaying sideways in unison. Sharing, apparently, one mind as well. 

“Hey come back here, you both! We were not done!” Vaggie yelled back at you, stomping angrily behind you but you paid her no mind, still exchanging opinions and talking with each other. Charlie, Angel and Husker stayed in lobby, staring at you slowly disappearing behind the corner. 

“So, it seems we finally start for real! Right?” Charlie asked with apparent hope but Husker only shrugged and lifted his bottle of cheap booze, drowning in his own addiction. 

“Yeah, whateva’ toots..” Angel turned on his heels and marched in direction of his room probably, leaving Charlie behind. 

“Yeah, right… I’m so thrilled myself!” she squeaked to herself. Completely ignoring the fact that she was ignored. “Hey, wait for me guys!” she called and run behind all of you. Ready to make her dream finally come true. 

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I hope you enjoyed and didn't mind all that much any possible mistakes!


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